You prepared for the feeds. You watched the videos. You maybe even used a doll to practice the latch you saw on a YouTube tutorial at 38 weeks. And then your baby arrived, and breastfeeding an actual, real-life baby was nothing like you expected.
If that sounds like you, you’re definitely not the only one.
New research published during Breastfeeding Awareness Month by Momcozy surveyed 1,000 UK mums who have breastfed within the last three years. The findings reveal what so many new parents experience: there’s often a significant gap between what women expect breastfeeding to be like and the reality they face. From physical challenges and emotional pressures to unexpected practical hurdles, the research highlights the need for more honest conversations, better preparation and stronger support for breastfeeding families.
The expectation gap
Only 2% of mums expected to stop breastfeeding within the first month. But more than double that number actually did. More than a fifth – 24% – stopped sooner than they had hoped.
At the same time, more than a third (35%) breastfed for longer than they planned. Which tells you something important: there is no single typical breastfeeding journey. There is only yours.
More than half – 54% – found breastfeeding harder than they expected. And nearly a quarter (24%) felt unprepared for the reality of it.
The biggest surprises? Leaking breasts, how lonely it can make you feel, and how long the feeds actually take.
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What nobody warned them about
When asked what they wished they’d known before they started, the answers from 1,000 mums make for a list that is both deeply relatable and pretty disappointing in how universal it is. The top things mums wish they’d known:
The physical reality
Painful, cracked nipples. Leaking breasts. Hunger and thirst like you’ve never known. A body that feels completely different.
The emotional weight
How emotional it can feel. The pressure you put on yourself. The loneliness nobody warned you about.
The logistics
How often babies need feeding. How long feeds take. How impossible it is to tell if they’re getting enough.
The things nobody mentions
Cluster feeding. Growth spurts. Tongue tie. What happens when you or your baby gets ill.
And the one that surprises everyone
How rewarding it can be.
The last one is important because too often we can focus on the negatives, the challenges and the disappointments. But, hearing that many mothers find it a rewarding experience is not only something to be celebrated but something to build upon.
The good parts, too
96% of mums have experienced a “special moment” while feeding their child. The most common: seeing their newborn relax or fall asleep while feeding (47%). Knowing they could comfort their child when they needed them (45%). Night feeds when everything felt calm (17%).
44% said breastfeeding led to a stronger bond with their baby. 35% felt proud. 22% felt empowered. 22% felt greater parenting confidence. And 66% say breastfeeding directly shaped how confident, capable or successful they felt as a mother, for better and for worse.
In other words, breastfeeding is not always a fun or easy ride but many mothers describe that it’s still very much worth it.
The public feeding problem
Almost half – a whopping 45% – found feeding their newborn in public difficult.
The reasons included a lack of privacy (65%), feeling self-conscious (55%), and receiving unwanted attention (53%).
Which is seriously uncool given it’s 2026 and we should be supporting feeding in public better than this.
What it does to relationships
79% said breastfeeding affected their relationship with their partner. Some describe it impacting intimacy (22%), causing tension around night wakes (19%) and feelings of resentment (18%).
But also: 19% said it made them work better together as a team. 16% said it inspired their partner to find other ways to bond with the baby.
What the midwife says
Sophie Martin, registered midwife and Momcozy UK Expert, shared what she believed would help families the most: honesty, preparation, and kindness.
“Many mums expect breastfeeding to come naturally, but the reality can be physically, emotionally and mentally demanding,” she says. “It’s important that parents are given honest, balanced information so that they feel prepared both practically and emotionally for the realities of breastfeeding.”
Her practical advice for anyone in the thick of it right now:
Breastfeeding takes practice. You have never fed this baby before, and this baby is learning to feed for the first time too. Like all skills, it takes patience and practice.
Focus on positioning and latch. A good latch is the foundation of comfortable, effective feeding. If something feels wrong, it probably is so get support early.
Stay hydrated. Breastfeeding mums need a lot of fluids. Keep a drink nearby at every feed, especially in warmer weather. You can find our fave water bottles here.
Expect feeding patterns to change. Cluster feeding is normal. Growth spurts are normal. Your baby’s needs will shift – try to follow their lead rather than a fixed schedule.
Rest when you can. Night feeds are hard. Rest is not optional – it is part of how you cope.
Be kind to yourself. Your body is doing something extraordinary. Celebrate the milestones, however small.
A free resource worth knowing about
Momcozy has partnered with NowBaby to offer a completely free course: Breastfeeding Myths, Common Questions & Essential Information, co-hosted by IBCLC Sylette Hanson and Midwife Marley. It covers common myths, practical latch guidance, and has a live Q&A element.
If you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, or currently in the thick of a 3am cluster feed wondering if this is normal, it might be worth a look.
The course is available free at nowbaby.co.uk
The bottom line
More than half of mums found breastfeeding harder than expected. Nearly a quarter stopped sooner than they wanted to. And the overwhelming majority – 96% – also found moments of genuine beauty in it.
What the data really shows is two things can be true. It can be hard and, with the right support, it can also be immensely rewarding.
Research: The State of Breastfeeding in the UK Report 2026, Momcozy. Survey of 1,000 UK women aged 18+ who have breastfed within the last three years, conducted by OnePoll, July 2026.
In association with Momcozy.
Feature image: Supplied
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